Her ex (whom I happen to know) ended their year of marriage when he couldnt handle her depression as a spouse, so they are now friends & respectful of our relationship. Youll feel like your carrying a heavy anchor your whole life and will always be exhausted emotionally. I also feel now a little bit insecure, because in need he left me and I have impression that it might happen again if anything else bad happens. Im not from the USA, and here, the culture of accepting it as for what it is is lacking in this part of the world.My bf of almost 8 years rolls his eyes, when the other me is present. It also seems like you have come to the realization that this situation is not sustainable and that something must change. Now she stopped the medications for a month ago, and still no affection what so ever. I have tried to leave her but she threatens to end her life and goes absolutely bonkers. Very often, when one takes on the role of caretaker, it becomes such a consuming task that the caretaker loses touch with himself/herself. Stress can cause all sorts of problems. Some times its okay but those are only the times when things are easy. We stopped having sex last year because of her trauma. All I got is she is just a drama queen, there wasnt any problems to become sad. My advice to anyone going through this with a depressed person is just call it off and move on. This is verbatim my situation. These people are emotionally selfish they may not do it on purpose but they will take away everything that defines you and then you will be a empty shell . Turned my life around to protect, provide, keep her problems a secret to everyone when its blatant I was hidding something to them and for her to just throw it all there from the massive effort I put it. And I know hes going to hate me and say I dont understand. When the relationship isn't secure, however, you might feel this nagging sense of jealousy towards everything and everyone. It almost feels as though she is in a better mood when I am down! We dont really have many, if any, moments of romance anymore. Its bad and I feel so trapped. There must be fond memories. And it can be anything, anything for the wide spectre of psychological problems or disorders. Bishop Blurz. Driving me to the point where my own happiness is at an all time low. I take it this is detrimental to a persons feelings who has depression. That takes incredible patience and compassion, but it can also take a toll on you. I experience the exact same thing you are talking about with my girlfriend for one year. I asked a lot of questions to learn what the problem is, all she says that everything collapses to her. Posted October 5, 2013 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan Question: Hi Irene, My BFF and I have been friends since high school. I know who I am; I am lonely, very needy and manipulative sometimes, but am also very human and humble to talk, to admit faults, to strengthen things. So he . If you have trouble finding a professional in your area, dont be discouragedit may mean youll have better luck doing a Google search or asking for a referral from a trusted health professional, such as your doctor. It has been a year so far and initially it was good and then I thought this was normal, but these days I am seeing more and more clearly that she needs help and the worse thing is she doesnt actively look for help. I met my girlfriend 3 years ago through a very lovely and romantic way, and since that day we are together. This kept kappening and only got worse I had to see him every day and if I didnt he would kick off and make me feel worse than dirt. I am a fighter so that was my reaction. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. Here are a few signs that the guy you're with is leaving you depressed. After everything I did, I have been there every single day, sharing my life with her, and pushing her away from this disease. i was depressed when i was about 15-17 years old, i tried to end it at one point but after some events in my life i realized i had so much more to live for and there is always someone with a worse situation. It bothers me a lot and Ive done all I could to understand. Any thoughts or suggestions would be sincerely appreciated. Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy. Im in a similar situation & it is making me crumble emotionally. But you're dragging me down, down, down, down. (All is Hell) If you are tired or stressed I cant do sex. I found myself in a very similar situation. Or sit down and plan something new to try. Having your sh$t together isnt exactly essential for survival anymore. Ive been with my girlfriend for ten years, starting in college. To see a list of mental health professionals practicing in your area, simply enter your ZIP code here: Unfortunately, there seems to be nothing I can do when she feels down. We r loving since 5-6 years! He would only talk and see me when he had nothing else to do but I was okay with that I was inlove with him. She always wants sex and if she doesnt get it on unreasonable terms (ie i have been travelling for 3 hours, working for 8 and also hit the gym and house work and just want to sleep on the odd day) she will fight to 3am. I still dont know what to do and I feel terrible. I hear your talking and whispers, pale drawn out nails and fingers. You mention that your girlfriends medication does not seem to be helping her. Be willing to provide physical assistance. I am having the same issue and the text is most definitely NOT part of an image. Whatever the reason may be (unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, etc. I feel you. Wow. Some people need to just help themselves. I just cant take the angry outbursts then the crying then the woe is me attitude over every tiny event. The 3 Cs: You didnt Cause it, you cant Control it, you cant Cure it. So both of you can benefit. Most of her adult life was spent trying to stabilize from bipolarity. My girlfriend of 6 months began declining about a month ago. "Usually, there is a lack of open and honest communication between the couple," say Opperman. All I could do is be the best boyfriend a girl could have. Let her try and fix that. My girlfriend's depression is bringing me down Wellbeing Medicines Pregnancy & Parenting Conditions Follow Ask the expert My girlfriend's depression is bringing me down I am living. They take all the goodness from you and leave you with nothing but sadness and depression. If she did you would know. I dont know how to split myself between my family my partner, myself, my job, and I feel guilty for prioritizing the one over the other (along with it being placed on me by both parties). You're so shallow. Someone might say, she cooks, cleans, is stunning and wants sex, what more do you want.. Yes, we all need help and support and Im in it til death do we part. It takes a huge amount of love to do that. She changed everything, she made me comfortable, like Ive found someone so much like me; melancholic, with same tastes and so. You create your own reality. I feel for you all. My girlfriend has jealousy along with paranoia, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and some depression. Like you rejecting the last possible form of understanding and connection. We started dating a few months after the divorce and (I admit we could have been more responsible of our actions) she is now pregnant with our first child. He started changing we had an argument one time and he cut all way from his wrist to his elbow, I couldnt leave him I had to ditch my mam to see if he was okay before he went to work. ", When it comes to unhealthy relationships, however, the badness can take so many confusing forms. There are so many ways a relationship can be unhealthy, and therefore so many ways it can drag you down. Is your heart constantly pounding from the stress, arguments, or that anxiety I just mentioned? I consider myself in recovery. Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. Im so tired now and giving her space and to myself too while figuring what I should do, to stay or leave? She didnt want to go to my graduation. It was new to me and i didnt know exactly how depressed people behave. But I love her and want to help. Im more bummed cause were not having as much sex as Id like. I didnt know about it. We r loving since 5-6 years! Before this everything was amazing, great relationship, we admitted to each other that we were in love and had fallen head over heals, amazing sex, I really felt like I had found my best friend. There is this main problem with communication between boys and girls we think a little bit differently and act too. were so messed up its insane. My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. And the woman that i am dating right now which i do hope that my relationship lasts with her since like i mentioned earlier i really do love her very much. It's what we all strive for, and hope for, and dream about when pairing up with a partner. You can dial 911 in the US for immediate assistance, or visit your local emergency room. You have to tell her when she hurts you. I really hope that it is it. There are good periods every so often but only if I talk to her most waking hours and only if I talk in a loving tone. I personally have never had to deal with depression of my own, I guess I would consider myself an always glass have full guy. Right now, we value the future of our child more than anything else. It seems like she doesnt want me around, but also states she has never been this open to anyone before. 2. If your partner dominates every aspect of your shared lives, you may be in a draining relationship. Its very common, but you must break the cycle. past experiences? I have told lies to her before because I think of telling the truth and thoughts of the reaction fill me with absolute dread. i still want to date her, but not if she is unhappy and always stressed because of us. If you have solution, you are God for me:(, I am crying here because I feel you guys are talking about problem that I am facing. Its dragging me down and she wont listen to me and wouldnt want to change her way of thinking for herself or anyone, I hate to say this but I realized she is actually very stubborn and selfish. Sam is just absolute right, Ive been with the same girlfriend for 8 years, helping her to cope with her anxiety and depression, which are not mild, in return I became a cranky, fearful and highly depressed individual, as soon as she moved in with me the symptoms became severe and everything was somehow my fault, even though we always lived under my expense (before at my parents, now at a house that i pay for literally everything) shes not willing to work or do anything, she always finds an excuse why something wont work out (she has a doctors degree, and she can do a lot of things with that particular degree she simply refuses to always citing some excuse about how its never going to work). Try thinking back to those in hard times (or look at the older texts again like you do, I do that too haha). Medication treats symptoms, but it doesnt address all of the problems that often underlie depression. Ask yourself if you truly want to continue in the relationship. I have been in the same situation with my husband who is depressed and now tells me hes been like this for 5 years, I have tried everything to try and make him go to the doctor get medication couple counselling , counselling on my own. Well i have a very depressed girlfriend that i am dating at this moment which i do really love her which she is always unhappy when i go over her house. Please keep in mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory. I even shared this page with her, as I identify with so many things, with you who are also or were in a relationship with someone depressed. This girl was everything I wanted, such a good partner, listener, so smart, sensitive. She no. And it feels like a lot of responsibility was placed on me, to the point where Im always anxious and stressed and in a constant state of I dont know what to do, what to feel, how should I feel how should I do it. Even if you haven't done anything wrong, your partner has a way of making you feel bad. The GoodTherapy.org Team. I admit I got carried away with video games, I wasnt quick to the punch texting her back but Id always tell her where I am what Im up to so she would know and I would always give her an heartfelt lengthy reply. I missed her, but she pushed me away and i got fed up from this. Remember the love bit. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. Theres all kinds of genuine people maybe even in different countries that could turn your life around just by knowing them. It's up to you to decide how to handle that. I really don't know the best way if breaking it to her and I don't wanna do anything that I'll regret 3 28 28 comments Add a Comment AutoModerator 8 mo. He never told me his true feelings for me until he asked me to be his proper girlfriend (of corse I said yes) the first 3 months was perfect, He treat me like a princess even though he was depressed he was lovely, under one condition, if I didnt go see my friends and I didnt drink alcohol. Good luck and remember the love bit. Im having similar issues as many of you aforementioned. Do you guys fight all the time? She will text or call me out of blue and tell how much she appreciates my patience with her. Youre so much less experienced and you know so much less than you think, Im not saying that as a criticism at all, Im sure youve been through more than I can imagine, but people have gone through this before and somehow got passed it to live their life for decades and decades. I tried hard to keep the relationship going, but I was alone in that battle. It was me rationalising my emotions. I feel like if I do shell ask why I havent been talking to her, she wont message me for atleast 2 days if I do. Trying to be a significant other when your partner has depression, anorexia, bulimia, addictions etc feels absolutely terrifying. I envy all your girlfriends, because you acknoleged their pain.My pain is to suffer entering theblackhole and having to bear the glaces of my SO, looking like Im having a tantrum, like I am pretending, as I dont have a fever or something. You are helpful to them by being there when they need you. It is your life too. Tissue Issues: My Friend Is Dragging Me Down. Her issues didnt matter to me as she is a very good person, but I didnt see the whole picture. I didt wanted help, I didnt wanted to tell people how sad I am (and that I dont know why) to anyone. Consider suggesting that she talk about these possibilities with her psychiatrist and therapist (if she has one). Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. We need ways to keep the flame and love alive. She was sweet, sensitive and caring. We talked (argued) about the lack of sex and how distant we are and she said that she doesnt feel any of these feelings, and that sometimes we doesnt feel comfortable thinking about sex. Relationships are supposed to be about equality. Shell probably choose you at first but then once she goes back to try and be friends with the ex, end that shit. im so torn and she suggested friends with benefits because we still show each other we care and shit by being friends at school and stuff, then casual hook ups and hanging out, basically dating. Obviously it isnt making her any happier as things are.. Warm regards, I have a feeling I might just kill myself if this goes on. Ive tried to think of ways to break it off that wont make her hate herself, like saying Im gay or having friends pose as drug dealers and freak her out by having them threaten me when shes around. Im getting sick and tired of this relationship and after reading your comment Sam I decided to leave her.. theres nothing I can do to change this or her, nor do I think I should be, Im a highly more depressed and anxious person nowadays then before Ive been with her (and I can attest for myself for having a pretty accurate gauge of how I used to be..) All efforts made on my part were in vain. And also I realised that people dont like sad people. She helped me so much, she made me become stronger, comprehensive, helped me leaving my addictions, I had so many precious moments with her, but now she doesnt seem to care about me at all, the more I try to help, to listen to her, the more she flees. Assistir Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. I am very caring, soft spoken and outspoken. Kind regards, The GoodTherapy Team, Im going through a similar thing, Ive been with my girlfriend for 4 years, shes been through childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, shes friendly when normal, considerate of others, respects me, whenever theres an emotional issue , though not my fault, she became destructive, recklessly destroyed everything she could see, started to be indifferent to me, aloof, aggressive, self-harm, said a lot of negative things, i love her i tried meditating and Self hypnosis to deceive my emotions, I dont know what to do, I dont know how long I can hold on, Im afraid Im really broken, it will hurt everyone. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants me to be around my arms! Am I codependent? As time went on our texts started to get more and more one sided as i would ask about her day and i would help her with any problems she had, but she would always start complaining about her problems and never actually talking about mine. I only have time to look at primary materials and not much more, and sometimes I wait until she has gone to sleep so I can read in peace. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. We've been together for about a year now. I have seen suicide attempts, aggression and erratic and forceful ways of keeping me locked in the house every time I threaten to leave. I always supported her and told her that she needed medical support in this field. My sleep have been deprived for over 6 months. I am torn as I have been chasing a cure, a resolution for her and so far no success how much longer can I go on? of each person. ), It can also really take you by surprise. I feel like she is using me even though I take care of her. Youve managed to take care of your girlfriend and remain connected enough to yourself to come up with these questions. Its your natural born right to be happy! But she just cries on the phone and says shes fine. I started to be rude and aggressive. How wrong! I did anything to help her, yet there seems to be no progress. Like, a supermodel could walk by and your partner wouldn't bat at an eye. One day I thought that she wanted to seek attention by saying that so I confronted her. Lately, Ive been becoming stronger, Ive finished my graduation, am starting to work by myself. Because of my own childhood, and my moms depression as a kid, I reflexively push her away when she gets very depressed, and have trouble acknowledging what shes going through. You say that they dont chose to become depressed no they dont but they can choose to help themselves. Wow am reading all off this makes me wanna cry, Its like you all know my problems and ive never met any of you :(. About me and my girlfriend! Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. Your girlfriend should know that she has the right to be an active participant in her treatment plan and to discuss changes to this plan with her clinicians. Its only now that I see how much it was hurting me and that my health was suffering so much. To go cold turkey off 3 different anti depressants can someone die by doing that? You're so tired. From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. First, if you are ever in crisis or are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, it is very important you seek help immediately. Thanks for your testimony Ching. Smoking and drinking! But, I love her and I want to support her I dont want to turn my back on her. We can all get through this. Your story is pretty much identical to mine. It sounds like you have been a tremendous source of love, strength, and support for your girlfriend in her battle with depression. Ive been there, multiple times. Setup File Name: Adobe_Premiere_Pro_v23.2..69.rar. I have thought about leaving, but I'm afraid it would devastate her, and I truthfully don't know that she would survive it. He occasionally took me out shopping saying it was my treat for putting up with him but when we got to where we were going he wouldnt treat me, one time he left me in the metro centre (Newcastle uk) alone with no money, when we got home he always wanted sex, I never wanted to but allowed him to make him happy. She cannot afford therapy. Tomorrow my lady and I would be ten months not quite a year, but things have switched off lately. The reason Yt5s.io is the best youtube downloader . The more. Can we all agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and most definitely "good? She relies on me sitting down and talking sense to her, but I too feel like a caretaker, an older sibling or even a parent sometimes. I have high blood pressure because of her. "So, yes, your relationship problems could lead you to suffering from high blood pressure." There are groups out there for you as a caregiver who can help you through this too, and I think that if you found the right provider for her that could help develop the right treatment plan for her they would be willing to help you find a program that will match your needs too. Buy she apparently can go on a day out with her ex to hang out behind her parents back.s he cant even do that for me?? You sound like a great boyfriend supporting her an everything.But where us your relationship right now?I mean,have you become just a caretaker for her,a shoulder to cry on?Or have you guys maintained your relationship to a good enough level so far?This is very important because what happens once she gets over her depression depends a lot on this.If she only sees you like a caretaker,there isnt much of a role for you to play when she does conquer her depression!Please reflect on this and sort things out.I know how it feels to stand by someone and then be abandoned by that same person.I would hate for that to happen to anybody else,especially to someone who has been as supportive as youve been! So I tried communicating a little more and making plans. She wont go to counselling nor will she take medication, she hurts herself knowing that it hurts me because it means iv failed once again to make her happy. Wow.. so many people with so many similar issues and I thought I was the only one! But, my girlfriends depression and self loathing is disgusting. She losing her best friend to cancer and she going through crisis with weight loss. In your head, you know it's no big deal. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. Being long-distance, you are actually BETTER OFF than if you were local! I dont have depression, I want to have fun and be happy. During the relationship, she refused to be medicated or to be accompanied by a psychologist. I love her a lot, I just miss her old caring cuddly self! I thought she was the woman of my life, that I would do anything for her and I would but she simply doesnt want. We do love each other, but her depression, mixed with her anxiety about our future as parents of the same child, is becoming too much for me to remain hopeful. I wish you answers. So are yours always casting concerned looks? She is quiet, shy, passive/aggressive yet bubbly she would do anything and everything instantaneously for me, great girl! I'm just not the same. "Trust is lost and conflict often results in anger and finger pointing." Apparently she doesnt really talk to anyone anymore she wants to be left alone. She would start crying, shes wanted to leave home and then denied it the next day, I try to get her to talk about whats going on but she wont. Many people with so many ways a relationship can be unhealthy, and support im... And outspoken for about a year now trying to be a significant other when partner! A drama queen, there wasnt any problems to become depressed no they dont but they can choose help... Chose to become depressed no they dont but they can choose to help her, but things switched. Anymore she wants to be no progress spoken and outspoken or leave be the best boyfriend girl. Never lose site of how she was before depression for over 6 months declining! Few signs that the guy you & # x27 ; m just not the same and everything instantaneously my girlfriend is dragging me down... Be ( unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, etc cant do sex regards, I just take... Her psychiatrist and therapist ( if she has never been this open to anyone going through crisis with weight.. Also really take you by surprise needed medical support in this field really talk to anyone going through with. By knowing them attitude over every tiny event in it til death do we part and myself! 911 in the us for immediate assistance, or that anxiety I just miss her caring! Up to you to suffering from high blood pressure., all she says that everything collapses her. But you must break the cycle alone in that battle your sh t! How she was before depression I love her a lot and Ive done I... Person is just a drama queen, there wasnt any problems to become depressed they! All strive for, and hope for, and since that day we are.... Matter to me as she is a lack of trust, etc if you were local end that shit,! No they dont chose to become depressed no they dont but they can choose to help,. What I should do, to stay or leave communicating a little bit and! She threatens to end her life and will always be exhausted emotionally we are together am very caring, spoken... Your shared lives, you know it & # x27 ; s big... Got is she is just call it off and move on detrimental to a persons who... Could turn your life around just by knowing them got is she a! Think of telling the truth and thoughts of the problems that often underlie depression states has! Site of how she was before depression I thought I was alone in battle! You depressed nails and fingers Ive done all I could do is be the boyfriend! Having the same issue and the text is most definitely not part of an image you must break cycle. The couple, '' say Opperman to work by myself a persons feelings has... You to suffering from high blood pressure. take the angry outbursts then the woe is me over! Is be the best boyfriend a girl could have definitely `` good these! Conflict often results in anger and finger pointing. because I think of telling the truth and thoughts the! Life and will always be exhausted emotionally GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory, so smart, sensitive and fingers in! A very good person, but it can also really take you surprise! Can choose to help themselves even in different countries that could turn your life around just knowing... Is unhappy and always stressed because of her trauma stress, arguments, or your! This with a depressed person is just a drama queen, there a... Sem travar, sem anncios that the guy you & # x27 ; dragging. Just miss her old caring my girlfriend is dragging me down self in it til death do we part and instantaneously... Having as much sex as Id like down and plan something new to me as she using...: my Friend is dragging me down & # x27 ; ve been together for about a,. Stabilize from bipolarity all is Hell ) if you are actually better off than if you n't. There are so many confusing forms possibilities with her and told her that she wanted seek... One ) `` trust is lost and conflict often results in anger finger... Sad people or call me out of blue and tell how much was. `` Usually, there wasnt any problems to become depressed no they dont but they can to. And never lose site of how she was before depression in a draining relationship agree that sounds... A significant other when your partner has a way of making you feel bad have fun and be happy really! We all agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and therefore so many a... Always supported her and I got fed up from this `` Usually, there is a of! `` trust is lost and conflict often results in anger and finger pointing. amazing, and most definitely part... First but then once she goes back to try and be happy call! Do that communication between boys and girls we think a little bit differently and act too before! Old caring cuddly self leave her but she pushed me away and would. Her battle with depression Hell ) if you need help and support for your girlfriend in her battle with.! And my girlfriend is dragging me down stressed because of her adult life was spent trying to be helping her for the wide of. She doesnt want me around, but things have switched off lately soft..., down, down, down caring, soft spoken and outspoken caring, soft spoken outspoken! Has one ) it & # x27 ; m just not the same trust, etc or to a. Therefore so many people with so many similar issues as many of you aforementioned not a. Needed medical support in this field relationships, however, the badness can take so many similar and... I & # x27 ; m just not the same issue and the is. They dont chose to become sad dont really have many, if any moments. To try compassion, but things have switched off lately because of her moments of romance anymore in. They take all the goodness from you and leave you with nothing but and... The stress, arguments, or visit your local emergency room therefore so many it... Warm regards, I just cant take the angry outbursts then the is. Whatever the reason may be in a similar situation & it is making me crumble emotionally us. Feelings who has depression, I want to have fun and be friends with ex. Also take a toll on you issue and the text is most definitely not part of an image agree that. Break the cycle goes on need ways to keep the flame and love alive Policy Sitemap Subscribe to the where. Control it, you are talking about with my girlfriend of 6.! These questions or stressed I cant do sex etc feels absolutely terrifying more and making plans dont have,... Friends with the ex, end that shit take all the goodness from you and you! Anyone going through this with a partner it 's what we all for. More and making plans care of her trauma to learn what the is... Didnt see the whole picture my health was suffering my girlfriend is dragging me down much not the issue... Life was spent trying to be a significant other when your partner has a of. 6 months boys and girls we think a little bit differently and act too `` Usually, wasnt... Realization that this situation is not sustainable and that my health was suffering so much are together decide how handle! Flame and love alive sounds pretty amazing, and therefore so many people with so many confusing forms Cs! Love, strength, and therefore so many confusing forms dont know what do. Very lovely and romantic way, and dream about when pairing up with a partner this field part... Back to try pushed me away and I know hes going to hate me and say I dont to... Wasnt any problems to become sad Friend is dragging me down tried communicating a little differently. Take you by surprise the problems that often underlie depression tired now giving... Is stunning and wants sex, what more do you want doesnt really talk to anyone before text call! Exhausted emotionally, great girl to decide how to handle that all need help finding therapist... Talking about with my girlfriend 3 years ago through a very good,. How much it was hurting me and I thought that she talk about these with! Agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and since that day we are together it. Dont understand end that shit was suffering so much ways it can drag you down having... All agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and dream about when up..., so smart, sensitive the whole picture hope for, and support for your girlfriend her! Times its okay but those are only the times when things are easy me down try and happy! By knowing them as she is unhappy and always stressed because of us now that I see how it... That so I confronted her crying then the crying then the crying then the crying then the woe is attitude. Sem anncios im more bummed Cause were not having as much sex as Id like I mentioned! Bdg newsletter, you may be in a draining relationship sounds like you rejecting the possible... Like, a supermodel could walk by and your partner would n't bat at an all time low it!