Ask your boyfriend open-ended questions about how he thinks your relationship is going, and if theres anything you both can do to bring you closer together. I keep trying to tell myself this is just a bad patch until I finish school and get a full-time job again- now that hes finally got a new job and should be happy. I am getting back to a new normal. He said he did. The worst thing you can do is become a desperate, emotionally suffocating girlfriend who is scared to lose her boyfriend. I could have written that. I tell him how much it hurts when he says certain things and that there is ZERO excuse for intentionally hurting someone we love. WebYes bare minimum but extra behaviors from a coworker. I sometimes think my expectations are too high. I want to make things work. I help him with college work a lot, and he often expresses to me how he feels so much calmer and relaxed when were together (which is true because his mood just completely changes and hes always so happy). That is an abusive, toxic relationship and you deserve so much better! He has recently been stressed about getting into grad school and got denied for his first two school. I dont deserve this. I have told him many times that he doesnt care about me, and he always says that he loves me. If your boyfriend never made an effort to begin with, then he may simply be lazy or indifferent to building and maintaining a relationship with you. Hes too shy to talk to you directly. This makes me Am I the problem here? He is failing to realize that I am being affected too. You dont have to change your personality, but you may need to change your expectations. I kept on wishing the man I met at the beginning of the relationship would show up but he never did. From what i have learned about him, I know he is someone who does not really know what dating is. But all in reality I wouldnt feel like this if he just showed me some type of effort and love and I get that it wont be a all the time thing but youre telling me its going to be never and I just have to sit here quiet and not say how I feel because apparently its unfair on him but what he is doing is unfair for me. Im always the one organizing my life around his and making sure we see each other. I want to give myself time to breath but when I do, again I feel lazy and like Im doing nothing with my life. My name is leonna and I have been seeing this amazing guy for 3 months now. He broke up with her partner before we had sex they already messed up before me. ive been always the understanding one. I went through a period of unemployment and he was not emotionally supportive through this period. Around this same time, I decided to download the dating app bumble to see where it would take me. For a while there I was wondering if he was a narcissist, player or just using me. Within the past 2 years. I made it to the driveway before I felt so uncomfortable I ran inside to put on jeans and a tee shirt. All relationships are unique. We were friends for about 2 years before I gave him a shot and when we were still just friends he would try to spend as much time with me as possible and hangout all the time. X. I know this is a late reply but do you feel like he respects you? Should I just never expect to be treated the way he used to treat me? Dont tell him, because he might try to manipulate you. They tell each other they make each other better people. I cleaned his puke and poop from damn near halfway up our bathroom walls from when he got e.coli a few weeks ago, but we have a housing inspection on the 28th and my house looks like a storage unit and its filthy! He says sometimes he appreciates me but words mean nothing, actions do. Perhaps he wasnt taught how to love a woman, and he hasnt taken time to learn what goes into a happy, healthy relationship. I think him doing that even though you have said you arent okay with it is extremely disrespectful and shows he doesnt care about your feelings. Youre not alone my girl xxx, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2yrs now, everything was all good until the beginning of 2019,he started to distance himself from me, one day I received a text message from a strange number asking me if I know my boyfriend and if we are dating, I was calm and honest when I answered the text, I went to whatsapp and checked the number out and I saw the photo, it was a lady texting me, I asked her who she was and she said she was just a friend to my guy and she noticed that lately my guy has been stressed and she thought it was a lady stressing her, thats why she snooped on his phone and got my number, all this time I remained calm, thee following day I decided to go to my boyfriend house without informing him, it was around 10pm, I met with the same lady their, my guy was not around, I got inside the house and the lady went straight to sit at the bed while I was sitting at the chair, I couldnt wait any longer I went home, I couldnt get in touch with the guy on phone, his phone was off, the following day this same lady called me at around 7pm telling me that my boyfriend is sick, I went to his house and I found the lady with my guy sitting on the bed very close, I was still calm I said hi and I sat on the chair, this lady excused herself and left me with my guy, I asked him who was the lady and he told me that his best friend was dating Herr so they are just good friends, we spoke and everything was good, the following day in the morning this lady text me and tells me why I came to break that guys heart, the guy told the lady that I had come to break up with him, that I told him I found another man, I never said anything like that, why was my guy lying? He seems to always have excuses. I love my boyfriend so much, weve been together for a year now. Something went down and he doesnt want to confess. But things went roughed to both of us.. I wasnt looking but I found it. This is the real way to be happy and stop wanting for his love or validation to make you happy. I used to love doing that! What would you do? Im in the same exact boat. Its hard for me to talk about it with him because he gets sensitive but he doesnt show it. So i moved out and got my own place and we continued dating. Actually they havnt shared any sexual pictures or that was not very sexual conversation. Once in a while, I managed to do something to please him. My boyfriend and I started with a lot of stress in our relationship. I have told him that Im tired of him not Making an effort in the relationship, and that he needs to make an improvement. But its weird because he texts me good morning every day, asks how my day is throughout the day, sends me updates on everything he is doing, etc. Often the dog doesnt get walked for a few hours in the morning because I have to get myself and the kids ready before I can take the dog out when really he could just get up and do it.He never wants to come on walks with us. Weve been together a year and a half now. He was not able to go back to school again because his government decided that no one will graduate this year. He didnt court me. I feel you. About 3 weeks after, right after a fight we had after my bday, he told him he cant find them. Then you explain and get everything fyn between you then after like two weeks he will he will give attitude again from no where five minutes he texts with love the other minutes he will text as if he doesnt care . He apologized but I was just so hurt. Later on our conversation is dead Im always the one who make efforts. My bf is the same and continuously emphasizes to me that he is trying. Even when you are depressed you can do little things, especially if its for someone you love. I give it some days to really think what I wanted to do and I decided I wanted to work it out so I talked to him and expressed how I felt and ask what made him want to do this. And more likely, he wont change. I love him to death, and I know he loves me. He brought me back the same time as last time. But yeah, we talk more and sometimes I struggle to text back too since I work full time now! Ask them, I feel like youre ignoring me. And dont get me wrong, I enjoyed spending time with him regardless, it just got really boring and frustrating after half a year. He felt his place was his and he wanted to keep his place sacred and clean! its been 10 days now and he havent ask me out, during these 10 days when he says i miss you or i say i miss, he would ask me to meet at his place for couple of hours (again at the spare of the moment). He may be afraid to show sensitivity, make sure to let him know that its okay for him to cry. But I understand coz hes really busy at work. Not just his X But his friends to and the kids. his excuse of not having quality time? Find some activities/interest that give you pleasure independently find some close friends make some successes in your life that you can gain confidence from and then worry about your relationship when you are on stronger grounds. But for him, anniversaries are pointless. He says he loves me but I dont see him actively showing his love. I have asked him to write more often if we do not physically meet so often, but I dont want to keep pushing him for more attention. He cant see his daughter now because his crazy ex wife wont let him. On a scale of 1 to 10, would you rate your relationship a 1 (you started dating within the last couple of months and are still in the beginning phases of getting to know each other) or a 10 (youve been dating for 20 years and know each other inside and out)? FUNCITONING ALCOHOLIC. I said it would really mean the world to me if he would send me a good morning text like he used to. For the first year or two with him, I never had any problems with needing reassurance and words of affirmation from him because he always did it so well. If you always cook dinner, take a night off. I said I didnt think I could be in a relationship with him anymore because I was tired of being the one always doing the work and making an effort. I hope everything goes well for both us to get this relationship last. He used to do things for me but it seems like he doesnt do anything. "Life happens and things often get in the way of plans you and your partner may have made," says dating expert and counselorDavida Rappaport. Hes very sweet and affectionate, so I dont believe its due to him not liking me anymore, but it really confuses me and stresses me out. Girl please, stop wading knee deep in his shit! He knows more about me than I do apparently. He gets angry and its caused a lot of fights lately. I stayed in that relationship. My boyfriend is a foreigner and a Muslim while I am a Catholic Christian. if he told you he does not see a future with you, as hard as it is, you need to walk away now. Covid has not helped at all. My boyfriend of three years got me a card. I thinking breaking up with him is definitely a stretch, but Im tired of begging my boyfriend for some reasonable attention. I really need an outlet! I cant let go of people. Although he did not tell me this beforehand, we have been trying to work on these issues and improve our relationship. I feel that I am confused and disappointed. It helped me calm down. he briefly mentioned his bad experience with exes, he had two years marriage and he said he felt it was too long. Last week he finally invited me over to his house after not seeing him for almost two weeks when he had his daughter. Now if I even suggest or hint at sex it is another argument. Cant believe how common my situation is right now. The truth is that there are a number of reasons that could cause your partner to check out emotionally. Me and him didnt talk much because my mom found out more about my bf and i also couldnt sneak ipads anymore. COMPROMISE but just be sure its not all on your side. Oh my goodness. Im always the one who always ask. Hes shows effort but due to my insecurities I overthink when I stop seeing the efforts and assume the worst. He hates my mom which is part of that reason. Leaving a person you love is one of the hardest things to do. he only paid for me once and he never surprises me with dates or buy gifts. I trusted his words for way too long. We are in LDR. Either way I have decided to just sit back and live my life. I have no friends no interest in men, I cant even stand it when strangers try to talk to me. Its not too much to ask- its very basic. I hope you work things out- either way. WebBut when you give so much attention and interest to a guy, but he just doesnt feel the same way, it can actually push him away from you. Tinder is amazing, by the way. I think you deserve attention and love from a real man. He say that he dosnt want to sex with me. I had a quarantine birthday and got a ton of messages and phone calls from everyone, but from him? And youll likely receive the same treatment. Men go through depression, hurt and sorrow just like us women do. Since Christmas hes stopped seeing as much, no nice texts, less phone calls he says its not me & its because hes busy with work but even now on a Friday night hes at his place & im at mine. But you have to become selfless. Its exhausting when you are the one doing the heavy lifting. I try to do something positive and you piss on it. because of this i have been resentful and he became more distant as a result of that. Should I tell him how I feel about not talking enough or should I just let it fade away? The worst of all, Hes so Unforgiven, if we have misunderstanding ill sent a text of apology, after that ill try to call him, but, he wont pickup on several occasions. Never expect to be treated the way he used to treat me his daughter now because his ex. Always says that he is someone who does not really know what dating is me! Definitely a stretch, but you may need to change your expectations much. We have been resentful and he said he felt it was too long for me to to. 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