Unfortunately, these qualities are handicaps that blind you to reality. And that is something that happens to a lot of women out there. Most women would have given up but I continue to believe that one day, I will met this special guy just for me and so should you. How much he loved us and how much of an amazing person I was. He texted me two days later, again to see whether I was available to hang out this week, I had not replied yet since he doesnt take his time to respond to me, at the end of the day I am keeping my options open I might see him this week, but at the other side I am going to see other people as well.. It was a mutual connection and feeling then it just suddenly vanished on his end apparently. One day! Or because Im younger or because hes stressed about money and job (hes not doing well right now). Also, I noticed. I am a virgin so this was all new territory for me. We were meant to be spending the day together yesterday (Monday 29th) when I came back from my parents so I called his mobile on Saturday and Sunday night to discuss plans. I know I jumped the gun should have just let him disappear in peace but for my own peace of mind two days later I said ok Ill take the hint. I said no.. And we swapped numbers again. Then I got a grip and stopped texting him. Your advice truly helped me as well. met her on Tinder. My ex was in medical school and I was in grad school and working so neither one of us had that much time on our hands. I can only take solace in the fact that well all be ok in the long run im sure. The last time we were together we talked for hours about every thing and anything. He could be cheating on you now by going back to her to ease of the pain his ego suffered. Like he did too and I could see myself with him. Dont reach out again. Im In his city instead but I will surprise him too and not give the actual date and he laughed and aid dont worry Ill be mentally prepared and make reservations. And then the alarm goes off. Youd probably just be like, Hey, howve you been?. It sucks to be left out hanging. Yes we were imitate all the time but he would always go home or I after the night was over. trust me. No return phone call was made. Go get your hair and nails done. How do I shake this feeling of guilt and incompetence? Im in emotional limbo (something I would never do to anyone but an enemy) and I cannot function properly. He led me to believe he was falling for me. Mind you I am not a narcissist, I am a codependent nice guy/white knight. Not only did henot have decency to ccancelled, this man dropped off the face of the Earth AND made it so that I couldnt contact him, all without A SINGLE WORD. 1. But he is not. again. For me, it was what I wanted. I know one would think a guy at thirty-six would be mature, but its been my experience that the ones that are in their thirties and ummarried (or even had been married but now divorced) tend to act more like little boys than teenagers. We finally texting each other and everything was just going awesome. I later saw on his Facebook that he went on a trip to Canada at the same time that I was supposed to have been with him in France. I say the truth always sets you free. He has treated you very poorly. Please stay out of my life. 3. Im sorry but i am no longer interested good luck though. I am a single mother of two teen age boys, and recently started working for my own business. I met a man online. He always vanishing, sometimes untill 3 days or more. Getty. Exactly how I feel too. well, he turned out to be owner of multinational company, an extremely intelligent, extremely rich and very balanced man. Texts me the next day like normal but its short and not interactive and felt off. I am exercising more and getting fresh air, therefore am losing weight and ready to take on the world again. I sent him a message asking why am i blocked i got not reply. However, he has vanished again cause its been 4 days since so heard from him!!! It leaves the one being left confused with no closure. 2. This depression, feeling of rejection, worry and stress ages you! Comfortable asking him. I have adored him since we met 15 momts ago. Even when I got back home we continued to talk everyday. Im just going to block his number because I dont want to wait around for a text or call that might never happen. I think it sounds like you dodged a bullet though, so try to just move on and not think about him anymore. Well here goes my story, I was going through a breakup from a guy who was emotionally abusive towards me and decided to go in a dating site for a rebound a guy who wasnt that much my typed messaged me and he seemed different from all the other guys I dated in the past so I gave it a shot, we met at a book store and walked around the park the first time we met it was nice but when he said goodbye he side hugged me and ran off I thought he wasnt interested in me so I let it pass, he texts me the next day to ask to see me before he goes away on a family vacation for the next two weeks I was too busy to see him then so he ended up going on his family vacation and I thought I would never here from him again he contacts me the second he gets back to see me which I was very surprise he still remembered me and wanted to see me we went out in our second date it was nice, on the third date he explained to me he has a very serious case of OCD and anxiety disorder and that was part of the reason why he ran off the day we first met due to an episode he had, I am not the person to judge because my brother had autism and I have a good understanding when it comes to mental disorders. Its been 3 weeks now. Seriously. Expose him and let him realize that you know whats going on. To go from 7 years of being in each others lives in some way to nothing so abruptly is so hard and I really want to contact him again but I do not want to lose my dignity. You dont want to grow old with someone that doesnt love you, do you? Why say he loves me then?! Better not to analyze it and just let it go. Hey, there is a new cafe shop open in town that Ive been meaning to try. He just started to act like he didnt want to do, or plan anything, and wasnt spending enough time with me, so I addressed the issue to him, and first thing he said was I know Im not making you happy so I asked him what was wrong, he said he didnt know, I asked him if he needed some time and he reply yes. We women have got to stop giving these guys power karma will catch up with him one day, so please dont be depressed over a worthless boy. He wasnt over expressive but we mutually marveled at how much we already liked eachother, etc. Anyway, to cut a long story short we met up again in person 4 mths after our initial meeting, he expected sex but didnt get ithe said he might buy me a wedding ring one day. Ppl pointed things out to me that I didnt even realize I was doing. He sent me a drunk text a couple of weeks ago saying you are so beautiful and a wonderful girl. kudos for moving on and being strong about it. We ended up meeting and pretty soon a pattern developed. I have my girlfriends and family who dont mind when I need to unload the bricks. He says he loves me. I wish there was a LOVE button for this!!! He also started calling and over the phone we talked for hours on end. Why do guys pull away and disappear from your life, without any warning? Matt, you sound cool, its nice getting a male perspective on this issue. He was kind of my unicorn, and Im just wondering if it was a timing issue (Im not in the best place right now, hes super busy with school) or if he really just lost interest in me. she texted me straight up to ask if i was religious, what are my politics, and do i want kids and how many. He was such a gentleman through out the trip that I could see myself falling in love. Asked me to text him when I got home and that he would talk to me later that night. Youve been waiting for him for way too long and he doesnt deserve any more of your patience. We met online, first date was lunch on the 2nd of Dec., communicated every day and had three great dates, the last one being on the 12th. I feel so painful He was clearly pulling away. Sounds like he used you for an emotional crutch to get over his girlfriend. I have started dating again and these are the exact things I have been dealing with. You tell yourself you cant understand it even though the red flags were very clear, which indicates your BS detector could use some fine-tuning. at the end, I am away from heartache. It took me awhile to reply to his text, when i did it was high-five happy and sexually overt, not a great reflection of me, I dont drink but when i re-read the text I sounded drunk! Im not going to be the person he can message at 7pm when work is done just so he has something to do. That can play a bit with your morals, self-esteem, and self-perception. It was just so shady and the part that annoys me is why say youre gonna come pick a girl up if youre not? Compare it to two others who disappeared with no explanation- took me months and im still not completely over one of them. Take a hard look at your life and try to better yourself. Im a mother of two. Theres a pattern that sees through this game that some guys obviously love to play. He even prepared his work lunches at mine on Sunday and stuck them in the freezer for this week in case he stayed over during the week. Ori, thank you so much for your sincere comment! You met him after only texting, which is lazy communication. As they say, if it is meant to be then it will be. How to flirt with him over text? May I ask what has transpired over the past month? We kept finishing each others sentences and thought along the same line. He always says Im just having my own little problems so I believed him but when I text him , sometimes he doesnt even respond or he would just respond late.. At first I was thinking he was getting depressed about something but he wouldnt tell me whats wrong. We were pretty much inseperable since then. Yes, perhaps he would think you are a drama queen. At this point it was a friendship. All of a sudden you just stop calling and texting the person. So, she called and/or texted him more than I would have done personally.I dont think that would have changed the outcome anyway. As Dr. Raffaello Antonino points out, communication becomes ambiguous through texting because we cant read social cues, emotions, and facial expressions. I am used to this. I had realised she was playing with my emotions so instead of reacting to her I chose to drop her like a hot potatoe to protect my own heart and feelings. Ive been played hot and cold before and Ive been deceived by ex boyfriends in the past but Im in a situation at the moment that I really cannot get my head around. Guys sometimes feel they are not good enough for the person they admire. He finally contacted me and explained what happened. If hes gone, he wasnt worth your time anyway. He had not had a relationship in 2 years and didnt even date anyone but me since then. I know I made the mistake of not having an exclusive talk after we slept together (and no, it wasnt until a couple of weeks and a few dates in), but I am not a serial dater and I dont sleep around. First date went really well, went out to eat and then went to sit by the lake. The loss of that daily contact is really like a huge hole in your life. They have options thats why the late night/early morning calls. I said it took you an hour to talk to your ex. He totally disappeared. Once I got him to open he he told me he is confused and he doesnt know what he wants in life and has so much going on. We shouldnt pack all men in the same bag, its unfair and untrue. I agreed more, MH we would like a insight from a guys prospective as to why he didnt text back or called after tons of I love you and I miss you from his part. Kind of held on to that it was special. He said that he isnt going anywhere. At first I thought hed met someone else on his weekend but to be honest its not like we were official so I dont get why he would cut me out! Recently divorced He showed you that he can easily disappear from your life and thats why youll show him that you can just as easily not text him and move on after him like you never even met him. Wouldnt we have a more trust-based society? Then we decided to start dating. We kept talking and eventually we exchanged numbers. Just wondered what made u see that made u say that I seem like a nice girl ( personally in your opinion) I meant to ask this when we first started texting ? I just wanted companionship. But now there has been nothing! I was overwhelmed with feelings of being taken for granted and she was changing the terms of our serious relationship into texting buddies, not what I wanted to settle for. Val Im not going to be his emotional crutch. There are other reasons as well, which they may not wish to confront you with. I fully empathise with your experiences. So dear girls. He was trying to hide me from her, hence the sporadic communications, the sudden silence, all the sketchy behavior that like you I went crazy trying to decipher. Who knows what could happen in the future. He shared a photo of his ex wife and she actually looked very nice. But again after the week I was on a bussiness trip out of country. I had this discussion many times and he always said of course I would tell you. So did you ever meet this guy? ha. Ive just had this happen to me again (first time was my last relationship, over 10 years agoIve only sporadically dated since then). His response was your welcome and thats the last I heard from him. sometimes the wrong relationship ends with a fireball. Sometimes youre dealt a crappy hand, despite your best efforts. If we skip this one step, and pretend in our society that its ok for people to just leave when they please, without requiring responsibility and reciprocity that are BASIC, HUMANE qualities.. that its cool for people to do whatever they please we only end up demoting ourselves to disposable beings. You dont have to give it up though! I feel the reason he disappeared was because of my actions. Seriously. We argued got angry with each and came to a mutual agreement/resolved so therefore I thought things were good between us. Just what I needed to read right now. Haha Rachel, the last part where you said Oh dear I may need some moral support. At this point, he basically said I guess Im not ready for a relationship I shouldve ran after he said that but I didnt because he said Maybe we can try communicating more. Needless to say 3 days after that I started feeling he was pulling away with minimal communication on his part. This situation is quite bizarre because literally we have not stopped talking to each other. We started to have sex and it was great for us both again we were a good match. Also, men just arent as equipped to handle emotions and emotional situations as women are, so they avoid them. Combined with pulling away, hell probably use some other techniques of manipulation such as putting you down and gaslighting you. you have been too available. He will come back soon. The next is silent treatments and ignoring texts. Blame it all on women because you dont like the state of things. To be fair, as a woman, I have done this to a few men, in my life time, and very recently too. If he disappears, it's because he isn't the right guy for you. No calls, no messages, deleted me off his social media, Im hurt. a good looking guy, 7years younger . Look at me! I feel cheated. I told him that I have feelings too and I feel very hurt I also felt that I was not a priority in that no matter what as long as she is going to have something against what he does and if he responds that way we could never have a healthy relationship because she will always control what he does. We talked while he was away every day maybe twice I caught him in a lie about when he checked out of his hotel and wondered where he was? If youre busy or youre not into it or whatever, thats fine. Everything seemed great. But the truth is that I cant trust a guy who can walk in and out over any silly things. He had his chance and he decided to waste it. I feel so ugly and stupid and insecure right now for acting so dumb. So after several months I texted him and we agreed to see each and catch up. I realize it was getting to the point where decisions were going to have to be talked about, but I wasnt pushing for that. Then I remembered I left my house keys in the car. Well screw it ill be sad, but he was a total jerk to me about leaving work and couldnt wait just two hours. Anyway back to the last drink service I asked him to dance but he replied he couldnt since he was working but would on his day off. So texting back and forth and snapping as usual. So you can say he went on a date that he didnt plan off. I know I have hurt the ladies in I was involved with; but give my own unique background, it was all for their own good that I decided to run away. Especially when everything is going great. After one hour I called his cell, he had it call forwarded. In that aspect, you cant ignore the signs like they said. He probably thinks someone hit on me or something and got mad and was going to punish me good. And yeah I am being a smart ass. I took a long hard look at him and saw him for what he really was and realized I wanted to let him go, that his attitude toward me was undesirable, and that I really couldnt even like him anymore. 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